A Gentle Nudge from God
- Al
- Mar 21, 2017
- 3 min read
I wanted to write something a little different today because I haven't talked about my faith journey while in France. The purpose of this blog is to update our fans on our adventures and share funny anecdotes, but lately I've been doing a lot of reflection on my faith. Let me tell y'all, it's HARD to find God in Europe when you're comparing it to Baylor. I think it would be hard anywhere compared to Baylor.
I'm not going to church every Sunday and discussing faith journeys with friends frequently. I'm not attending chapter meeting where there's always a devo or seeing faith based clubs advertise around campus. God is still right where He's always been, but I have had to look a little harder to see Him. And a lot of the times I fail. Only lately have I been intentional in my thought process and conversations.
Over the weekend, Maddie asked what I thought about boyfriends and boys and stuff and I said, "It's hard because I'm comfortable being single, but my heart is always looking for a boyfriend. I know I need to run so hard after God that I'm not even thinking about boys because if my heart's not right when I get in a relationship, it won't work out and it will become my idol." Correct words. Check.
Note: THIS IS NOT ME I FOUND THIS ON THE INTERNET
Yesterday, after traveling for 9 hours and sitting through two classes, I got on my bus to go home weary and makeup-less. OF COURSE the beautiful french boy from my project was also on that bus and immediately moved his backpack so I could sit with him. Commence nervousness.
He started in French and my brain was NOT having it and I stared blankly at him before he switched to English, very patiently. I stayed in French though because any chance to practice speaking I take it! I wanted so bad to be my bubbly, energetic self and tell him all about my weekend and all the funny things that happened, but I felt so limited by French and I was so nervous I could barely look him in the eye--he was NOT supposed to be there!! I had a huge zit in the middle of my chin for goodness sake!!!
After he got off at his stop, I was kicking myself for not feeling comfortable enough to laugh and joke and use French like I know I can. Then I put my headphones in and First by Lauren Daigle started playing.
"Before I bring my need, I will bring my heart and seek You first."
Every time I feel the temptation of the world to do what I want, God reminds me how small I am. If this french guy is supposed to be mon petit amie (my boyf), God will make it happen because I for sure wasn't/isn't able to reel him in on my own. God also reminded me that most importantly, my life's purpose is to serve and glorify Him. I can't do that if I'm constantly worried about what boys think of me or trying to flirt my way into a relationship.
I wanted to write this as an encouragement to other single girls who are struggling with the same things I am. We are so much more than the guys we attract. We are daughters of the King and He is preparing us for His purpose. God is the ultimate prize, the ultimate priority, and it's time I start remembering that regularly instead of just when Lauren Daigle tells me so.
"You are my treasure and my reward. Let nothing ever come before." - First, Lauren Daigle
À bientôt, Al
P.S. yes, this is the same guy I was talking about from my previous post... :)
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